Pain Management

Giving birth is more than the act of expelling a baby from the body. It is a very complex social, emotional and physical process. The way a woman and her family experience birth will deeply affect their feelings about themselves and their baby. A birth experience is never forgotten but is remembered forever.

Birth is a very normal, physiological body function. Your body knows how to birth. Just as your body knows how to cough, sneeze, produce waste, digest and process foods into energy, so your body knows how to grow and give birth to a baby. Women have been giving birth for many years, some estimate close to one million years. The same process which occurs today was happening a thousand years ago in exactly the same way. We have not perfected birth, although birth is safer today because of the knowledge and technology now available to us.

How to cope with the pain of childbirth is a common concern of women and their partners and provides motivation to prepare for childbirth. There are many ways of dealing with the pain of labor and birth. Anesthesia, chemicals, and instruments can be used to help you through labor, however, many women choose to avoid any intervention in the birth process. Instead they use their environment, their body, and their minds to create the acceptance necessary to allow the birth process to occur without fighting or holding back.

Ideas about how the pain of labor should be delt with and experienced have changed in the last 150 years: During the 19th century, birth was seen as a time of suffering for women. Queen Victoria was the first woman to accept chloroform for the delivery of her eighth child in 1853.

- to read the rest, see WOMEN'S HEALTH AND BIRTH CARE

The Birth Place

The place a woman chooses to birth can influence the quality of her birth experience.
For centuries all babies were bom at home. Beginning in the early 1900's birth moved from the home to the hospital. Women became ignorant of the birth process since they did not witness the birth themselves because they were usually put to sleep. Today women have many choices. Birth can take place in the hospital in a delivery room or a birthing room or birth can take place in an out-of-hospital birthing center or at home.

The hospital is the most common place to give birth in our country. Most women assume that the hospital is the only safe place to give birth. Hospitals, however, view birth as a "high risk" event and believe that all available technology should be used to prevent a complication. The focus may be on machines and monitoring rather than on the laboring woman.

Some women feel safest in the hospital where the physician, emergency equipment and personnel are right at hand. Other women prefer a birth center or home where they feel they have more freedom to create a birth environment that is uniquely their own.

The popularity of natural childbirth and the influence of many expectant parents who wanted to be present together for birth and to have contact with the baby afrer the birth has convinced hospitals and physicians to allow more parental participation and control in the birth process.

- to read the rest, go to WOMEN'S HEALTH AND BIRTH CARE

Cannon

Cannon was a big baby! He shares my sisters birthday, August 18. I always love it when days get double meanings. I celebrated my sisters birthday by attending a secheduled ceserean with a family who was trying to VBAC. I know, you are all groaning. “not another failed VBAC…”. 

But, before you roll your eyes and curse the doctor and wish for better guidelines, etc… 

Let me tell you that this is a story of triumph. 

Triumph over fear. 

This is the story of jubilation and celebration and yes, even the story of BIRTH! a ceserean BIRTH! A strong woman facing the odds, choosing her battles and making decisions and finally resigning herself to what she felt like was the best course for her and her baby. It started a long time ago. I met with mom and dad after a difficult battle to make our schedules work. 

But, we finally met. I heard the story of her first birth - with all it’s confusion and uncertainty. Mom was hoping this time would be different and maybe a doula could help. I had been doula for one of her friends. This family was so busy and it was really difficult getting together, but over the course of her preganancy we got together several times to talk about her birthplan and we kept in touch about her doctor visits. 

At about 38 weeks, the talking started….no labor signs, baby is measuring big, no dilation, no effacement….maybe we should start talking about the possibility of a repeat ceserean birth. As she moved through the last few weeks I could see her flagging. Her usual sunny demeanor was replaced by a melancholy that left me aching for her to be healed. at forty weeks….

- to read the rest, go to LABOR ENABLER

Lessons Jillian Taught: My Experiences with Birth

 By Debbie Hull

I thought she was out of her mind. My sweet midwife friend, Pat Jones, approached me about a new play by Karen Brody, Birth. She wished to produce the play and she wanted ME to read for a part. The only theater audition experience I have was back when I was in my 20's and, for the record, that was some while ago. I broke out in nervous hives all over my neck and arms and wore a long-sleeved shirt to the audition in the bone-melting heat of a Houston, Texas August. This did not auger well for my participation in a play about birth, even if birth is a subject about which I am passionate. I showed up, asked her which part I should read and yada yada, I have had the privilege of playing Jillian De Moya in each of Houston's five productions of Birth.

 I have never seen the play myself. I have only been a member of the cast and I believe that those experiences, cast member versus audience member, must be very different. It has been incredible for me to see and hear the reactions of audience members to the show. After each of the shows we do, we have a talkback panel, a time when the cast and birth professionals from the community answer audience questions and discuss possibilities for improving birth services in our community. After the very first show we did, back in 2006, we had a woman stand up and tell us in tears that she "got it." Her daughter was planning a homebirth and she just could not understand why. Seeing the play opened up her mind and heart to understanding and supporting her daughter's birth plans. Another woman who had experienced a cesarean section did not make it past the opening lines of the play before her tears started to flow. The play provided a forum for her feelings, for their airing and validation and healing. I have seen, from my position on stage, pregnant women gently rub their baby bumps, as if to protect their babies from the experiences their mothers are witnessing. An elderly father attended a performance with his pregnant daughter a while back. He spoke eloquently about the power of the message of the play, of how important was the information. A local physician attended a performance, he was invited to be on the talkback panel afterwards, and was pleased with the honesty of the stories about birth in our country.

 As powerful as the message of the play has been for such varied members of the audience, its impact on our cast has been, for many of us, life-changing. We had a pregnant woman in our group one year. She joined our cast having already planned to birth her baby at a local hospital, not knowing that the hospital has one of the highest cesarean section rates in town. Halfway through our rehearsal time, she had changed her mind and switched to a homebirth with a midwife. One young woman in our cast found her voice and began to take charge of her own health care, asking questions, seeking answers and insisting that her physicians pay attention to her when a health crisis arose in her life. Another woman who had experienced a cesarean section found a release for some of her grief when she portrayed Lisa, a woman angry and sad about her own cesarean section. Another cast member had a lovely VBAC. A cast member in a more recent production, new to our group, discovered that there were still some feelings left to be processed as she revisited her birth experiences while working on the play.

For me, personally, getting to travel with Jillian through her evolution from an out-of-control, over-the-top, just-kill-me-if-you're-not-going-to-give-me-the-epidural birth to the empowering epidural to a homebirth has been such an unexpected blessing. My children are older. I have processed and re-processed my own birth experiences and, frankly, I thought I was past it. Playing Jillian has given me the opportunity to open up to even more soothing and healing of these old wounds. Our cast is most loving and gentle and when they love on Jillian, the love seeps through to me and my soul is bathed in that love. And women, even women who USED to be in labor, need that.

I teach in my childbirth classes that pretending to be in labor, laboring too soon, is exhausting. Many parents, especially first timers, make the mistake of rushing to the hospital after one contraction, way too early and end up being subjected to interventions they heartily wished they’d avoided. Many moms-to-be feel fearful that they will somehow miss cues and not know they are in labor. I urge mothers-to-be to follow the advice of author Martha Sears, RN and author, and pretend that this is not it, until you just can’t pretend any more. I teach them not to work at labor, not to “do labor”, until their body requires it of them. I encourage them to trust the truth that labor will declare itself. But it wasn’t until I got to act out labor, to assume the posture and breathing patterns and focus of a laboring woman, it wasn’t until then that I came to TRULY understand how very much energy we waste when we “do labor” too soon. Trying to be in labor is exhausting.

There is power in the telling of a story. Jillian, and the other women portrayed in the play, had the courage and generosity and wisdom to share their birth stories no holds-barred, the bald truth, the good, the bad and the ugly. Not all of them got the care they and their babies deserved. Not all of us in the cast and not all of us in the audience were given the kind of care we deserve, either. But in telling these stories and in hearing them, there can be healing and nurturing and a way made for a better next time. Playing Jillian taught me that.

The Stories We Create

By Traci Ferris, Postpartum Doula, A Family Friend Postpartum Support

 Each person has a unique life story. As Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D. (2009) states in Mindful Motherhood, our experiences most basically consist of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. The stories that we create about these experiences, the meanings that we give to these basic components of experience, are what make up our life stories. Stories of childbirth and motherhood are as varied as the women creating the stories, but there is no arguing that these are some of the most profound experiences of our lives. Therefore, these stories are worth telling and worth telling in the most beautiful way possible.

Often, women are robbed of their beautiful stories of new parenthood by unwanted thoughts, feelings, or sensations that cloud the beauty of their experiences. When I was pregnant with my first son, the only thought I could visualize was lying with him as he slept peacefully on my chest, gazing upon him and enjoying his new-baby scent. The reality was that, while we did have some of those moments, the moments of “baby screaming, mommy not being able to soothe” came often and I had to wonder, what was I doing wrong?? Shouldn’t a mother know how to make her baby happy? Often when fantasy does not meet reality and negative meanings are assigned to the experiences mothers have with their new babies, depression or lack of confidence can set in. These are the thieves that rob mothers of the wonderful stories of new motherhood.

Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett (2010) defines three different “attributional styles” that are at the center of the stories we create about our lives (pp. 91). She states that mothers who look on the negative side of things tend to make “internal, global, and stable attributions,” while mothers who can see positivity even in challenging events make external, specific, and unstable attributions (Kendall-Tackett, 2010, pp. 91). 

Take these two trains of thought by fictional new mothers for example:

Mother #1: The baby is crying again. Didn’t I put her down ten minutes ago? Why can’t I get her to sleep? I must be a horrible mother if I don’t even know enough about my own daughter to help her stop crying. She is never going to be able to get a good sleep routine down, and it’s going to be all my fault if her development suffers from lack of sleep.

Mother #2: The baby is crying again. Poor thing, she must be teething. She has been extra fussy for the past couple of days. I will take her for a walk, maybe that will calm her down. I just need to have patience, this stage will pass soon.

Mother #1 exhibits the internal, global, and stable attributional styles in that she blames herself for her daughter’s crying and worse, she makes the global assessment that she is not a good mother and that this is only going to get worse for her daughter. Mother #1 is on a runaway train of negative storytelling, all based on the meanings she is assigning to what is going on in her life. 

On the other hand, Mother #2 is externally focused in making meaning of her daughter’s fussiness. She understands that babies pass through stages and that she can only do so much to help her daughter work through the stage that she is in.

Why is this important? Well, often we – mothers, in our attempts to be the best that we can be for our babies -  find that our storytelling does become a runaway train of negativity and do not realize the best way to put the brakes on this frame of mind so that we can enjoy the experiences life brings our way. Mindful Motherhood (Vieten, 2009) urges readers to understand the separation between what is happening to us and our interpretations of what is happening and learn to accept what is. Therefore, when we find ourselves spinning a web of stories about how we aren’t “good enough” at being mothers, we should take a moment to understand what thoughts and meanings we are assigning to our experiences to lead us to think this way. 

In other words, we are our own harshest critics at times and even unprovoked, we can find ways to not measure up to our own high standards as mothers.

Returning to my own fantasies about my newborn baby, I find myself thinking back longingly to those days when he cried so often and for so long and remember desperately bouncing him and singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” so many times that I thought I would go hoarse. That was the first song he ever learned how to sing by himself. I have to smile and be thankful for that experience of desperation as part of our wonderful memories together and part of the process of helping him grow and learn.

About Traci
Hi! My name is Traci Ferris. I live in Katy, Texas, and I am the mother of two wonderful boys, ages three and seven months. I am a postpartum doula and recently began my business - A Family Friend Postpartum Support, which will be serving mothers in the Houston Metro area. I have a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a license to practice in the state of Georgia. I moved here to Texas in September 2011 and am in the process of transferring my license so that I can offer therapy services to families dealing with depression, anxiety, or trauma in the antenatal and postnatal periods. My Facebook page can be found at A Family Friend Postpartum Support

References:

Vieten, Ph.D., Cassandra. (2009.) Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child’s First Year. New Harbinger Publications: Oakland.

Kendall-Tackett, Kathleen A. (2010.) Depression in New Mothers: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment Alternatives, 2^nd Edition. Routledge: New York.

You Know You Are a Lactation Consultant When…

…You aren’t home, your husband answers a call from a breastfeeding mom and knows what breastpump to recommend to her.

…Your son’s teacher tells him she wants to talk to me about breastfeeding but HIS translation is “Miss McGillicuddy needs help with her nipples.”

…You could hand express anything that has milk in it.
…You find yourself obsessing over the creation of the perfect, crocheted demo breast.

…You perform reverse pressure softening on yourself while describing it to a desperate mom over the phone.

…Your doctor’s nurse, while there for your annual check-up, asks you to palpate a lump in her nipple and give your opinion on what it might be.

- to read the rest, see BAY AREA BREAST FEEDING

Prayer During Labor

It shouldn’t surprise me, but several inquiries that have come my way have mentioned that Mom is interested in hiring me because of my openness to prayer during labor and delivery. I realize this can be a hot topic for some women, because God, Christianity, and prayer can (and does) mean different things to different people! I’ve been asked to pray with roughly half of my clients, either with them or over them during difficult times, and each time it’s been a unique experience. Prayer is intimate and different for every person, and I respect that.

For me, birth mirrors the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. He died so we could have eternal life, and in birth we truly have to die to our comforts and desires for the greater good of our child. In both cases, the pain is not futile, it comes with a wonderful gift! Life!

My philosophy about birth and parenting is that it should be as natural as possible, that we should work in harmony with the way God made our bodies. I follow this philosophy as I bring up my children and am aware of the foods, creams, medications, cleaning supplies, and clothing that comes in contact with my children’s bodies.

- to read the rest, see BLISSFUL BEGINNINGS DOULA CARE

Philosophy of a Midwife

I believe that women are empowered through the pain and joy of childbirth. Birth is a mirror inside a woman, allowing her to see her vastness and her limits as no other experience can. When the event is not mediated by the priesthood of obstetrics and by hospital ritual, a woman can experience directly her own strength, her power, her courage, her determination, as well as her ability to surrender, as she lets herself adapt to the rhythm and demands of this particular birth. Homebirth is a way to restore to women the fullness of this self- knowledge.

The midwife can guide women to view the birth process as life in miniature, going through the stages of struggle, grief, hope, despair, acceptance, surrender, and joy, "As a woman lives so does she birth" (Thank you, Gayle Peterson); so each birth is an expression of herself and a mini-process of herself. The wisdom and growth available to women is blocked in a hospital birth "managed" to provide painlessness (if not oblivion) while encouraging dependency.

As my understanding of natural birth deepens with experience, I am more in awe of the miraculous and more acutely aware of just how illusory is "managed birth". Birth is a spiritual event for me which I experience as a miracle every time. Over and over I am involved in situations which seem to be following a predictable pattern and suddenly change course. I am constantly reminded that we are in charge of nothing and that everything happens truly in divine order. The respect which we treat newborns comes in part from our humility in the face of this divine order and in our service to the great unknowable rhythms of life.

- to read the rest see WOMEN'S HEALTH AND BIRTH CARE

America’s Maternity System; In the Eyes of a Canadian

When I decided to become a Doula in 2010, I wanted to pay it forward for the wonderful support I received during my deliveries.   I had no complications, felt able, felt strong, and was praised by my midwives and my hubby.  I had no idea what I was getting myself in to.


My experience of birth was positive.  Looking back now, I think it had a lot to do with my choice of care provider.  I gave birth to both of my children in Canada, two different provinces, with midwives, in a hospital (Ok, Kinley was delivered by an OB, but let’s be honest, he really wasn’t my support).  Many of my friends have had less than desirable birth experiences, all of them with OB”s.

I think one major downfall in the Canadian Medical System is that there really is a lack of access to doctors, in all fields.  I think for the most part during pregnancy, you see a family physician until at least half way through your pregnancy, and then get referred to an OB from there.   With my first, I would have been 30 weeks before getting that referral.  That is the one nice thing about the American Medical System, you can interview and change your doctor if things aren’t working out.  In most cases in Canada, you get who is available.  That being said, it doesn’t seem to change the type of care you get from those doctors.

Despite the abundance of OB’s, they still have little time for their patients.  The appointments are still rushed, and they still feel like they are doing you a favor by seeing you, even though in reality, you are paying them to see you, so it’s really not a favor at all. 

- to read the rest, go to A MOTHER WONDERS

How To Visit A Newborn

That’s baby and mama in a healing sacred herb bath, four hours after his amazing home birth. Notice the dim lights, the look on that baby’s face, the overall vibe?

The following piece of sage advice was written by a new papa, this new papa. He and his incredible wife T had the most amazing home birth, and he was doing his best to keep the sacred vibe rolling ~

How To Visit a Newborn

• bring food.*
• wash dishes.
• help with laundry. fold some towels.
• refill mama’s water glass.
• Be aware that you are entering a sacred space, where mama and baby have enacted a tangible miracle, love made flesh. enter with quiet reverence, please.
• papa, whether he realizes it or not, is the guardian of a sacred space. please do what you can to make his job easier.

- to read the rest, visit URBAN CURANDERA

Induction, Encouragement, Eviction

Induction, Encouragement, Eviction... these are all words that have been used in conjunction with artificially stimulating labor in order to get baby to come out.

Induction: to move by persuasion or influence: to call forth or bring about by influence or stimulation: effect, cause: to cause the formation of: to produce (as an electric current) by induction: to determine by induction; specifically: to infer from particulars

Encourage: to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope: hearten: to attempt to persuade: to urge: to give help or patronage to

Eviction: to recover (property) from a person by legal process: to put (a tenant) out by legal process: to force out: expel
- Merriam Webster Dictionary

Induction is the medical term used to encourage labor and birth of your baby. The term, induction, is misleading, though, as it infers something persuaded or 'influenced'.

Some people call it labor encouragement; I reserve this term for when a woman is choosing true encouragement techniques and they will not be influential unless the body is ready.


- to read the rest go to BELLIES AND BABIES

Hanging From The Chandeliers

I love this picture!  It represents the teamwork that is involved in giving birth to a baby, especially when the birth is hard.  Mom, Dad, doula, midwife, and baby working together. I think it’s a great shot for people to see the tools available at a home birth. The IV hanging from the chandelier pretty much sums it up!

This mom was a very physically fit and healthy 39 year old woman giving birth to her first baby who was posterior. She labored for quite some time trying position changes, lunges, etc… and her baby wouldn’t turn.  I finally manually turned the head and had mom try to push because she was 10, but she was worn out.  So, we got her into her tub to relax and began an IV for energy.

- to read the rest go to THE AMERICAN MIDWIFE

Amazing Amber

Chances are, if you’ve attended the B.I.R.T.H. Fair or a similar event in the past, you’ve spotted adorable babies (and their mamas) sporting a string of amber beads around their necks. Those necklaces are more than just stylish; they actually possess some pretty amazing therapeutic benefits. Baltic amber necklaces are growing in popularity within natural parenting circles due to their ability to alleviate the symptoms of teething without the need for drugs, medication or gels.  

Baltic amber is not a stone, but a fossilized tree resin. Centuries ago, Baltic amber was considered one of the leading medicines of its time and was used to treat a variety of ailments. It offers pain relief, strengthens the body’s immune system, restores energy, helps maintain wellness, helps break the cycle of chronic inflammation, and has a calming effect for the wearer. Baltic amber has been used as a remedy for teething for thousands of years, particularly in European countries.

The amber from the Baltic Sea is the most esteemed amber in the world and the healing qualities of Baltic amber make it unlike any other type of amber on earth. When Baltic amber is worn against the skin, the body’s warmth releases trace amounts of healing oils from the amber. These oils contain succinic acid and are absorbed into the skin. A natural analgesic, amber helps remedy restlessness, irritability, sleep trouble and pain. Amber is equally beneficial for adults as it is for babies and children. Some conditions which may benefit from the healing properties of amber are: arthritis, carpal tunnel, headaches, neck/shoulder pain, TMJ, anxiety, and much more. An increasing number of people are seeking more natural, safe alternatives to over-the-counter medications. Amber is a perfect solution, as there are absolutely no side effects. Amber teething necklaces make excellent gifts and are always a great conversation piece. 

A common misconception regarding amber teething necklaces is that they are for the baby to “teethe” on, similar to a teething ring or Sophie giraffe. Amber necklaces are made for wearing, not for chewing! Their benefit is derived from the healing oils which are absorbed through the skin. Genuine Baltic amber is a delicate substance  and may break under pressure, which is why the necklace should be short enough that the child cannot get it into their mouth. The butter and white varieties are the most expensive and most fragile amber, being comprised of a sap & cream mixture, so amber jewelry should be treated with care just as you would any other piece of fine jewelry. Genuine amber will vary in shape and contain natural inclusions. Amber may contain bits of  fossilized organic material such as tree bark, moss, or even insects! This is part of the beauty of real amber.

Angela’s Amber is a local mommy business providing only the best in handmade, one-of-a-kind Baltic amber jewelry for every member of your family. Each piece of jewelry from Angela’s Amber is lovingly handcrafted out of only the best quality, ancient amber from Lithuania. The beads are natural amber, not pressed, melted, or reconstructed. Nothing is mass-produced, and you won’t have to wait 3 weeks for overseas shipping! Learn more about Angela and how she got started here. One of Angela’s specialties is designing custom pieces for her clients. She has lots of options to personalize your jewelry, including birthstones, and genuine natural gemstones such as amethyst, tourmaline, carnelian, citrine, emerald, aquamarine, freshwater pearls and much more.

Here are some testimonials from a few of her happy customers:

“I bought a necklace from you and my toddler loves it. He says it's a magic happy necklace!”

“Beautifully made & within 24 hrs of my son wearing it, I have seen a significant improvement in his teething pain. Thank you!! I have already recommended this shop to many other moms!”

“LOVE my daughter's necklace!! She gets compliments everywhere we go! She has also started cutting molars, and we've only needed to use the Hyland's Teething Tablets twice this entire time! I highly recommend Baltic Amber to everyone, but especially from Angela's Amber!”

“Amazing product. So pretty and really does help calm my little one. We get so many compliments on her 'pretty necklace.' People are astonished when I start telling them about the benefits of amber. I have another amber necklace I purchased online from Lithuania and Angela's Amber necklace is far better. We put the other one in a drawer and always wear Angela's necklace.”

While wearing a piece or two of Baltic amber jewelry may not cure all that may ail you, it has been a proven benefit to many! Why not give it a try?

www.angelasamber.etsy.com

www.facebook.com/angelasamber

Circumcision, The Great Debate

When I was pregnant with my son in 2005, whether or not to circumcise was the toughest things we dealt with.  I asked everyone, and I mean EVERYONE I could think of.  I wanted to know what they decided, and why.  For the most part I came up with people who chose not to didn’t because they felt it was cruel and unnecessary.  The people who went through with it, decided that because their husband, or the father of the baby was.

There seems to be a lot of confusion around it.  I found that some people were told that there were no nerves in the foreskin, and therefore no feeling.  They were told that the reason the babies cry is because they are strapped down, not because they are in pain.  Others said that the baby feels pain, but they don’t remember it, so it doesn’t affect them for life.  The people who didn’t circumcise said that the babies are in a lot of pain, they are scared, they are exposed.  So what is true?

We never circumcised our son, and most of the males in my family are intact.  My husband’s side is the opposite.  Up until pretty recently, I was neither for or against circumcision, but things change.
Routine circumcision is not recommended by any medical association, including the American Association of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization.  It is no longer recommended as a way to decrease UTI, STD’s, HIV or cancer.  Circumcision is an unnecessay cosmetic surgery, that killed 117 baby boys last year in the US, more than SIDS.  Newborn’s are not able to receive proper pain medications, and many are circumcised without anesthesia.   

There is an argument that it is cleaner, but how can exposing an open wound to urine and feces be cleaner?  An intact foreskin should not be retracted, it should be left alone to avoid infection and unnecessary pain.  There are 20 000 nerve endings removed from the tip of the penis during circumcision that can directly affect a man’s sexual experience. 

The tip of the penis is meant to be moist, and by removing the foreskin, overtime the tip dries out, and has been linked to Erectile dysfunction as the penis loses sensitivity.  Routine circumcision does not exist in most parts of the world, in fact only the US and Canada practice routine circumcision for non-religious reasons.

Still think it’s important for your son to “look like dad”? There are groups of men that are affected by their parents choice to circumcise them...

 - to read the rest go to A MOTHER WONDERS

My Co-Sleeping Journey or Why I Bought a King-Sized Bed

 

By Traci Ferris, Postpartum Doula, A Family Friend Postpartum Support

I never intended to co-sleep with my children. For all I knew, it was taboo to even consider bringing children into the “marital bed.” In my mind, the only association children had with the parents’ bed was conception. So naturally when I became pregnant with my first child, I was set on getting a nice crib, complete with cute décor. What a waste of money that was.

The day I brought my brand new son home, I did what I thought was the “natural” thing to do come bedtime. I lovingly placed him in his crib and watched him as he slept. For about ten minutes. Then he reached his arms out in his sleep and, startled to find nothing but open air around him, began to cry. This happened repeatedly over the next several hours until I gave up and put him in the crook of my arm in bed and fell asleep. He slept for four hours straight.

I can’t say that I didn’t try to fight bringing him into bed with my husband and me. My husband and I attempted to put him in a crib, a pack n’ play, anything but in the bed. We tried “cry it out” for two minutes before giving up. I wasn’t that cruel. We felt that we were damaging our son somehow by making him so dependent on our presence to fall asleep and stay asleep. It finally dawned on me that we weren’t damaging him, he needed us. With our presence, he felt calm and secure enough to fall sleep. And I have to admit, I felt more secure with him by my side too. I still can’t get enough of my children’s cuddles.

Thinking about it from a psychological/physiological frame of mind, I determined that the presence of the two most important people in our son’s life – his parents - made his world a little less stressful, a little less scary. What does a baby know best in his first days/weeks/months but his mother and father? As long as we are around, he has some familiarity as he gets to know the rest of the world he lives in. This lowers his stress response, encourages relaxation, and therefore allows him to drift off to sleep – and stay asleep for longer periods of time than he would if he were sleeping alone.

There is a great deal of co-sleeping controversy out there and some scare tactics being used that equate co-sleeping to putting your baby in the bed with a cleaver. I was terrified at first about embracing co-sleeping, but I eventually gained confidence that I was doing it in the safest way possible. Today, my husband and I sleep with both boys in the bed. My oldest son is three and my youngest is seven months. Co-sleeping does not limit sleeping arrangements to the parental bed. Co-sleeping has been defined to encompass any close proximity sleeping: in the same room in a different bed, next to the parents’ bed, or in the same bed.

These are the several precautions I take when sleeping with my children. Co-sleeping CAN be done safely!

• I know myself. I am naturally a light sleeper who doesn’t roll around in bed. I knew from the start that I would be even more sensitive to my baby being in the bed with me.  I also adopted a sleeping position with both boys as infants that pretty much guarantees that I will at least be brought to a semi-conscious state if they even so much as shift in their sleep. 
• I stay away from anything that hinders my ability to remain ever vigilant of our sons’ presence in the bed. No drugs, no alcohol, no sleeping pills. Ever. 
• I keep pillows and blankets away from the baby.
• I sleep between my 3 year old and my infant. As long as my youngest is small, I will not put them side by side as my oldest, like any toddler, moves around quite a bit in bed. 
• I bought a king-sized bed. More room means more space to breathe and move around safely. It is a simple design, no gaps between the mattress and the frame and no elaborate headboards where children can get their heads stuck. 

 So our “marital bed” has become the “family bed,” and I can honestly say that I have enjoyed having our children in bed with us. My husband is totally on board, too. We have had many conversations about our choice to co-sleep and both agree: the years are short and the boys will want their own space and privacy before we know it, so we are cherishing the time we have now to cuddle together at night. And I would be willing to bet that the security and warmth we are giving them now will allow them to grow into secure, independent men in the future.

About Traci
Hi! My name is Traci Ferris. I live in Katy, Texas, and I am the mother of two wonderful boys, ages three and seven months. I am a postpartum doula and recently began my business - A Family Friend Postpartum Support, which will be serving mothers in the Houston Metro area. I have a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a license to practice in the state of Georgia. I moved here to Texas in September 2011 and am in the process of transferring my license so that I can offer therapy services to families dealing with depression, anxiety, or trauma in the antenatal and postnatal periods. My Facebook page can be found at A Family Friend Postpartum Support

Lactation Derailment Can Begin in the Hospital: 10 Tips for Avoiding a Trainwreck

I must preface this blog by explaining that..


fourteen years ago I became a mother/baby nurse, and ten years ago I became the resident childbirth educator and “breastfeeding counselor” on staff at a local hospital.  We did not have an IBCLC on staff, so I was IT until we hired another educator.  My training as a nurse, some time as a member of La Leche League and my own personal breastfeeding experience was all I had in my arsenal.  Though I wasn’t “official,”  I worked the position of a lactation consultant.  And it wasn’t easy…so many moms…so little time…so many interventions.  That being said, please read the following with the understanding that I have been ”on the other side,” doing my best as a nurse to help fresh babies latch…bending over beds as an educator positioning babies and sandwiching breasts for moms who were too sleepy on pain medication post-cesarean to do it themselves.

A week ago, I had the privilege of visiting a new family in the hospital to provide assistance with breastfeeding.  She has given me permission to share my observations.

When I arrived, I had dad undress baby down to diaper and in skin to skin with mom.  The baby was only 36 hours old and very sleepy after a long labor and difficult delivery.  Mom, Dad and I chatted for a moment then got to the business of latch.  The baby would not wake up.

- Read the rest at BABES

Baby's First Bath

There are so very many options after baby is born. One of the seemingly less considerable options is to bathe or not to bathe baby in the moments following birth.

Routinely, hospitals encourage families to have the hospital nursery staff bathe their baby within 2-4 hours after birth to 'decontaminate baby' from the messiness of birth.

So, with such a good argument in favor of bathing, why might you want to wait?

Body Fluids

Vernix
Once you bathe your baby, you strip baby of that lovely, antibacterial, antioxidizing, temperature regulating, moisturizing natural super-stuff called vernix. This white cheesy coating that many babies are born with is just amazing!

Vernix Caseosa is a marvelous mixture of skin oil and dead cells that baby shed while in the womb. Yes, even oil and dead cells are beautiful... when you consider that this helped to protect him from dehydration and now, while outside the womb, acts as an antioxidant, temperature-regulator, antibacterial (working against E. Coli, GBS, and other bacteria), wound super-healing, cleansing, and moisturizing cold cream. 

- Read the rest at BELLIES AND BABIES

The Birth of a Doula

I often get the question of why I became a Doula, which quickly leads into the questions of hows, and whys, and what ifs, and then my favorite one at births that often comes from the moms while they are laboring- “How do you have the stamina for this kind of work?”.

Well to be honest, becoming a Doula was a compromise for my husband and I.  I was ready to jump right into Midwifery training, but the time and financial commitments sounded very overwhelming to him.  So I agreed to go for a middle ground.

The first birth I ever experienced was the birth of my little brother.   I was 13 when my mom got pregnant with my brother and up to that point I was an only child that begged for a sibling on a weekly (and sometimes daily) basis.  I was right by my moms side for EVERYTHING during that pregnancy.  She hired a home birth midwife so I was there for all of her appointments, ultrasounds…  everything.  I felt like I was waiting for Christmas day EVERY DAY FOR 9 MONTHS! 

Unfortunately, my mom was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and had to transfer care to a Doctor.  at 37 weeks, things got serious and the Doc decided to induce.   I was sitting in Choir when the note came from the front office that I needed to leave school because it was time for the baby.  I was so happy I cried.  All my Choir friends were excited too and there was lots of jumping up and down and screaming. Long story short, my mom’s induction ended up being a 56 hour event that I stood and slept by her bedside for every minute until she was wisked away for an emergency cesarean.

- to read the rest see BLOOMIN BELLIES

Take It Easy

I have encountered a lot of these types of labors lately, and every woman chooses to either heed advise or go their own way. Both are perfectly acceptable and I will support either way of laboring, but it should be taken into consideration the ramifications of these choices... What types of labors? What types of choices?

Let's look at a tale of two women:

Kendra called me to let me know she was woken with contractions every 10 minutes. They were dull and crampy. I recommended that, since it was 2 a.m., she try to rest. If rest was hard to come by, I gave her suggestions to help her rest. I also left instructions that, if anything changed, to call me. 12 hours later, 2 p.m., a very exhausted sounding husband called to let me know that they were now 8 minutes apart and still crampy. Kendra, on the other hand, was exhausted. It seems that, after we hung up, they decided to get things going and went for a walk, did some nipple stimulation in the shower, and were rewarded with stronger cramps... stronger cramps that quickly went back to mild cramps as soon as she laid down to rest. 

Since she was well hydrated and had just eaten a small meal, I again recommended that she rest, after trying some positioning techniques, even if it meant in the tub. She got in the tub, where they slowed down to 12 minutes apart. Worried, she only let herself stay in there for an hour before hopping up and trying parsley and red raspberry leaf shakes, orgasm, and curb walking.  

 

- to read the rest, go to BELLIES AND BABIES

VBAC

http://www.thebirthrite.net/

VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Cesarean.

If you are reading this because you are working toward a VBAC, then congratulations! Making this decision is the first step in success. 

How to Increase Your Chances of a Successful VBAC

The following are suggestions that help to increase your chances of a successful VBAC by decreasing unnecessary interventions and minimizing risk. 

During Pregnancy

• Talk to your partner.  Make sure that your partner is aware of, and supportive of, your desire for a VBAC. A supportive partner can help give strength and encouragement when the going gets tough, the mother gets weary, or the support seems minimal.
• Select care providers and a birth place that are VBAC-friendly. Be sure both your practitioner and your hospital are supportive not just in words but in policies and routine procedures. If a woman is under the care of a truly VBAC-friendly practitioner, is birthing in a setting that is truly cohesive to a successful VBAC, and who uses the suggestions below to help labor progress optimally, the VBAC success rate is 75-90%. For a list of purportedly VBAC-friendly providers in the Houston area, feel free to contact me.
• Join a support group. There are great support groups for mothers who need processing their prior cesarean, healing from it, and planning for a VBAC. These groups also have additional tips, resources, and recommendations ready to help you have the best odds at a successful VBAC. Houston has it’s own chapter of ICAN and can be found here
• Hire a Doula. It may seem we are biased, but the help of a professional labor assistant can help you to navigate the policies, regulations, and patient’s rights; this allows you to make an educated decision about your health care by knowing all of your options and their benefits, and risks.
• Consider an early ultrasound to have a better grasp on your ‘true’ due date. Many women have their labor induced because they have been told that their pregnancy has gone past their due date. Early ultrasounds have a better rate of accuracy in determining estimated due dates than later ultrasounds.  Calculating the due date by the Naegele Wheel alone is often less accurate than an early ultrasound.

- For the rest of the article, go to SAGE MAMA

Cesarean Section Rates for Houston Area Hospitals

	HARRIS COUNTY
	Christus St. Catherine	34.0980%
	Clear Lake Regional Medical Center	36.1880%
	Cypress Fairbanks Hospital	38.2322%
	Houston Northwest Medical Center	31.4921%
	Kingwood Medical Center	32.3156%
	Memorial Hermann Medical Center	40.1521%
	Memorial Hermann Memorial City	43.8919%
	Memorial Hermann South East	36.9822%
	Memorial Hermann South West	29.9155%
	Methodist Willowbrook	35.0166%
	St. Luke's Medical Center	33.9573%
	Texas Women's	47.6785%
	The Methodist - Medical Center	39.0337%
	Tomball Regional	46.9643%
	FORT BEND COUNTY
	Memorial Hermann Fort Bend Hospital	36.4839%
	Memorial Hermann Katy	37.8242%
	Methodist Sugar Land Hospital	36.4083%
	St. Luke's Sugar Land	39.7190%
	West Houston Medical Center	36.2372%
	MONTGOMERY COUNTY
	Conroe Regional Medical Center	31.4286%
	Memorial Hermann The Woodlands	41.1213%

Greater Houston Area: 37.52673% - for more information on Texas cesarean rates, see here.

Website Recommendations

• VBAC or Repeat Cesarean - a great comparison of the benefits and risks of both
• ICAN - international cesarean awareness network brings legal, medical, ethical, and practical information to consumers regarding cesarean rates and VBAC.
• VBAC.com
• VBAC Facts
  
• Cesarean In Awareness

Book Recommendations

• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. (Henci Goer) If you're only going to read one book, let it be this one. It contains not only a wonderful chapter on avoiding a cesarean, but also comprehensive information on the judicious use of medical intervention. The book is more reader friendly, but not as in depth, as Ms. Goer's previous publication, Obstetric Myth vs. Research Reality  
• The Doula Book: How a Trained Labor Companion Can Help You Have a Shorter, Easier and Healthier Birth (by Klaus, Kennell and Klaus) For more information about doulas (Including the fact that doulas have been proven to reduce your risk of having a cesarean by 50%. Family members and other supportive people have not been shown to provide the same
  benefit.) 
• Silent Knife (by Nancy Wainer Cohen and Lois J. Estner) Written by the woman who coined the phrase "VBAC"; The definitive text written during a time when the standard of obstetrical care was "Once a cesarean, always a cesarean"; Also consider the follow-up book by Nancy Wainer Cohen, Open Season 
• Birth After Cesarean (by Bruce Flamm, MD) Full of statistics helpful for making decisions regarding choices you make for your care.
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (by Ina May Gaskin) Published following the most recent VBAC-lash and includes a chapter discussing the political state of VBAC today; Also includes excellent information for achieving a natural birth 
• Rebounding from Childbirth: Toward Emotional Recovery (by Lynn Madsen) For anyone who has experienced a cesarean (or any traumatic birth); Gives specific exercises for understanding and dealing with the feelings many women have following a cesarean 
• The VBAC Experience: Very Beautiful And Courageous (by Lynn Baptisti Richards) A collection of women's birth stories: first the woman's c-section story, followed by her VBAC story; The author's comments are interspersed in the stories supplying excellent information; Fabulously encouraging 
• The VBAC Companion: The Expectant Mother's Guide to Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (by Diana Korte)  
• What Every Pregnant Woman Needs to Know About Cesarean Section, MCA